Oh my gosh…to many thoughts feelings are going through my head right now. I don’t know where to start “WICKED” just caused so many emotions, so many thoughts, realization, and things I need to think about.

First of all I will admit to one and all. I cried. I started choking up the moment the first song began! I got tears during Defying Gravity and sobbed during For Good [for reasons I can’t explain, too complicated]. I can’t say why for all of them.
How my roommate Colleen reacted to Defying Gravity and part of my own thought’s. Defying Gravity is such a powerful song, an inspiring encouraging song, and when she heard it, in tandem with where we were, she just knew that there was nothing else she wanted to do [She wants to go into set design.] she’d found her place. And then Elphaba in the Emerald city, when she just had this moment where she really belonged. I realized… I’m not there yet.

I haven’t found that one place where I just feel I belong, I haven’t felt the feeling in the pit of my stomach that there is nothing else I want to do.

In the course of the half of a semester I’ve been here, I’ve heard many different dreams, and goals. One friend I’ve made here, Arianne, was a massage therapist for a few years before coming here, and while she loved it, decided she needed to chase her dream before it was too late. She also told me once that I believed in what I was doing, I kinda disregarded it at the time. But now, I wonder how she can know that. Or what she meant. I have no idea in what I’m doing so I most certainly can’t believe in it.
So, I guess I’m a little jealous of them. Colleen and Adrianne. Colleen knows exactly where she wants to be, so I support in her that and expect one day to see her work/her on stage, and Adrianne has a dream she wants to chase, and I want the best for her there, I’m a little…heh green.
There are other things to I’m needing to sort out, but those need to stay inside me for now. So I’ll just keep looking, and some day, hopefully soon, I’ll find my own way, to Defy Gravity.